What do you want in a program?

With my clerkship year of medical school rapidly coming to an end, I recently decided on a specialty which means I’ve been spending a lot of my time talking to mentors and advisors in this field. Towards the end of my conversation with an advisor, after I had rambled on about all my fears and doubts about successfully matching into the said specialty and how I was very flexible with everything, he took a pause and asked me “What are you looking for in a residency program?” I rambled some more about how I just wanted to be well trained and it didn’t matter to me where I was or what type of people were at a potential program. As our conversation deepened he made me realize that my answer was not true, that the people do matter and I just never seriously consider my happiness when I make plans for my future.

His question also made me think about a similar-themed question that another mentor had asked me “With your family scattered across the world, who is your support system?” Honestly, I didn’t have an immediate answer to this. I find myself prematurely terminating relationships or convincing myself that certain things that bring me joy are not important because I can’t afford to limit myself to a geographic location or care about being around people that look like me or warm weather. I have always envied my classmates who know which programs they will be applying to because of the weather, nightlife, family, or significant others. I wonder how they can be so courageous? How can they be so sure?

I share this with you because, like me, you may have given a million thoughts to all the other things and never truly considered what will make you happy. From my conversation with several other international students, I have realized that we often believe we are much less deserving and that we don’t have a choice. I want to urge you to put away this baseless belief when it comes to making your next life-defining decision. In a few months, many of you will be deciding which medical school to attend or which residency programs to rank high. For once, challenge yourself to choose based on what you believe will make you happy. If you don’t think you will fit in that environment, that may not be the best place to spend a great chunk of your formative adult life. As Tinu shared in her recent post, if you are yet to receive an interview invite from a program/medical school that you are really interested in, send them an email expressing your interest. For medical school applicants, negotiate the financial aid package if this is holding you back from attending a top choice. Similarly, for those planning on working during their gap year, challenge yourself to only apply for jobs that you will enjoy and reasonably negotiate your salary to one that you deserve once you get that job. [In fact, don't accept the first offer and no, they will not rescind the offer because you negotiated].

Remember that medicine is not everything. What do you want your life outside of medicine to look like? You as an international student like US citizens deserve happiness. I understand that life is life and that we may not always get what we want. However, when you do have a choice, choose your sanity and happiness. You have worked hard and given up much to get here and you deserve to make that choice.

Lastly, with the holidays coming up in these strange times, this can be a very emotionally charged period for many. As such, I encourage you to take a break, take a moment to reflect on your accomplishments this year, what makes you happy and who your support system is. Talk to your people and be intentional about doing something nice for yourself.

Feel free to reach out at any time if you need someone to talk to during this season and beyond. I am always happy to listen or chat.

Best,

Olamide.